Gates, walls, doors, and windows are all types of boundaries with good purposes. They protect us and give us a sense of security as they keep bad weather and bad people out of our homes. Some, like windows, can be opened to let in fresh air, or a door to let in friends and family. Our children need these types of boundaries as well to provide security, but also room to grow as a person. For children, what does a helpful boundary look like?

It is much like the walls, windows, doors and gates. A few boundaries are like the wall, but most are like the window or door, they move when needed. For example, for a two year old, when crossing the street you may want to carry the child, for a six years old you may allow the child to cross the street beside you.

Another important boundary is the consequences we give our children. When we tell our child “yes or no”, many times we are setting a boundary. But how do you enforce a boundary effectively?

Parenting experts recommend, with love, the following combination as the most helpful in reaching a desired outcome: a. remain calm, b. focus your comments on the behavior and not the child. c. Give an appropriate consequence, d. enforce consistently.

As your child grows, you will need to adjust the boundaries you set. It is a learning process for us as parents. So give yourself permission to fail and try again.

If you have questions or comments, you can email Russell Fryer through our contact page.